Writer/editor Kevin Abourezk: Almost all of us suffer from some form of trauma. How we heal is up to us

Part four of a four-part series.

I am marking my 27th year of sobriety. I've shared the story of how I got sober several times in some form or another. This year, I decided to write a three-part series about my treatment experience. First and foremost, I share this experience in the hopes it might light the way for those attempting to get or stay sober.

I think many of us have suffered some form of trauma in our lives. What a blessing if you haven't! Whether it be the loss of a grandparent or a divorce, we've been marked by experience. How we heal from those experiences is different for each of us. My story is simply an explanation for how I got sober.

In my story, I shared intimate details of my family life. I didn't do this to criticize anyone or paint myself as the victim. Everything I shared was from my perspective, which was admittedly biased. In particular, I want to address the way I wrote about my father. While my childhood was defined in many ways by my father, I need to share one thing in particular to give some sense of who he really is beyond just some frustrated, stressed out divorcee. 

The day after my anger management exercise at treatment, we had a family day in which we invited family members to visit us. I invited all of my family, my mother, my sister and my father.

I hoped and expected at least my sister and certainly my mother to join me that day. I never expected my dad to come. In fact, he was the only one who came that day. It was a life-changing experience. We apologized to one another for the wrongs we had committed against each other. He told me he was proud of me, and we hugged. After that day, my dad and I stopped looking at each other as adversaries. We became equals.

As many of you know, my life has turned out great. I've got a wife, five children and a job I love. I've got good friends and a community that means a lot to me. I'm so thankful for these gifts. But I couldn't have gotten any of these things without my sobriety. In some ways, I was reborn (perhaps symbolized by the above image of a sunrise over the South Dakota prairie north of Bear Butte posted on wikimedia commons) beneath the looming visage of Bear Butte, in that humble treatment program housed in two double-wides.

I couldn't have done any of it without the good men and women — client and counselor — I met there. Wopilatanka.

Kevin Abourezk is the deputy managing editor of Indian Country Today and an award-winning film producer who has spent his 24-year career in journalism documenting the lives, accomplishments and tragedies of Native American people. He holds a bachelor’s degree in English from the University of South Dakota and a master’s in journalism from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.