Educator/researcher Heacock: Humility is a superpower. We need it in this time of anger, war and rising hatred
“We come nearest to the great when we are great in humility.” — Rabindranath Tagore, a Bengali writer awarded a Nobel Prize in literature.
“You don’t understand. Arabs aren’t like us. Their mothers don’t care for their children like ours do. Their leaders don’t protect them like ours do.”
I was on a plane returning to the USA from a United Methodist Mission trip to Israel and the Palestinian West Bank. My seat happened to be in the middle of two Jewish Israeli citizens and I listened to the two men describe their fears and beliefs about Palestinian Arabs.
I’d had the opportunity to visit with a variety of people on my trip. People who identified as Jewish, Christian, and Muslim; Israeli and Palestinian Arabs. Our conversations centered around peace and justice, and I think they all had mothers who loved them dearly. I didn’t talk to members of Hamas. If I had, I would likely have heard remarks about Israelis similar to the ones I heard from my seatmates about Arabs.
I shared with my new Israeli companions that I’d met many wonderful people of different faiths and ethnicities during my travels. They weren’t impressed.
“Of course, there’s a few good ones,” one responded, and the other nodded agreement.
I understood the men’s fear. Antisemitism has been and continues to be a real threat to peace and safety. But so is anti-Arab sentiment, anti-Muslim, anti-Palestinian, anti-Christian, and the list goes on and on. Our instincts tell us it’s “us against them.”
But all the military might — the weapons, bombs, and drones that allow us to kill people we don’t know but somehow still hate — won’t bring real peace or safety. Wars create bitterness. Violence and oppression produce rage and terrorism.
I told my airline seatmates that I studied and taught about the wisdom (not the politics) of the world’s major religions and felt there was beauty and much for us imperfect humans to learn in all of them.
They were skeptical. I get it. We humans are programmed to be fearful. We defend ourselves against people who we believe don’t think or act like we do. That’s what helps us survive.
Until it doesn’t.
Human history is full of war and violence. The idea that we need to fiercely fight an enemy for our freedoms seems firmly entrenched in our psyche. Our belief in the efficacy and necessity of war has not changed over the centuries.
But technological advancements in the weapons of war have made the destruction of the human species a real possibility. We need to put forth a powerful effort to solve our conflicts differently.
That’s where the superpower of humility comes in. The major religions promote humility. Not as a weakness. Just the opposite. As a strength. The superpower of humility (as perhaps illustrated above in a U.S. public domain painting posted in wikimedia commons) means we’re able to overcome our fears and have the confidence and self-control necessary to listen to those who challenge us, hurt us, and make us oh, so mad. Those whom we don’t understand — but we could if we put forth the effort.
Humility isn’t easy. It’s hard to hear ideas we believe are harmful. It’s hard to listen to people we fear will hurt us. But if we don’t listen, we won’t understand. And if we don’t understand, we’ll fix the blame instead of fixing the problem. We’ll keep fighting or fleeing when faced with tough situations and never resolve core issues.
When I returned from my travels to Israel and Palestine, I joined the Jewish Voice for Peace, a group which believes that ending apartheid in Israel and condemning all racism, not just antisemitism, is the way to keep Israel and the Jewish people safe. They “envision a world where all people — from the U.S. to Palestine — live in freedom, justice, equality, and dignity.”
Christianity’s Jesus gave us a tough message. He said, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Those words were meant to protect us and help us look upon each other with compassion and empathy so we could solve conflicts without harming each other. So clouds of misunderstanding could be lifted and we could communicate with respect.
When we respect the dignity of others and they respect us, fear diminishes. Our rational brain kicks in and finds a way to create solutions that don’t harden our hearts and destroy our souls. We produce answers that don’t rely on death and devastation; that don’t create a cycle of revenge.
On a personal level, humility is a superpower that brings us peace of mind. We let go of the fear we are not good enough, or the desire to be better than others, and can just be our unique selves. We can fail and make mistakes without beating up on ourselves, because we accept the fact that we are only human and doing the best we can.
A favorite Bible verse of mine is Micah 6:8 because it answers a question many of us have: How should we live our lives? The advice given is simply to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.
When we walk humbly with our God, we seek justice and we defend ourselves. But we do so with grace and compassion, knowing we all struggle and are always learning. Knowing that when we hurt another, we hurt ourselves.
When we listen well and extend dignity to all, we will be blessed with new insights, innovative ideas, and unexpected friendships. Humility is the superpower that enables peace in our personal lives and in our world. It’s what makes us great.
Christy Heacock, PhD, is an educator with a doctorate in research psychology. She is the author of Being Human Is Hard: Choose Forgiveness. She grew up in Redfield, SD, and has lived in Rapid City the last 40 years with her husband Roger. Contact Chris at christyheacock@gmail.com or through her website: chooseforgiveness.com.
